ociety says it's alright if you look at something as long as you don't act on it. They say, “It's alright if you are lusting over someone on video because that's not a real person.” In this article, we will learn if that is okay to do according to Sikh values.
A False worldview
Pornography is really bad for us for two reasons. Firstly, it gives us a warped view of reality and it's false at its very essence. The person involved in it is not enjoying the act and is doing it for a job. The viewers are putting the wrong thing into their heads because it gives a warped view of relationships. It's designed to make you think that women and men are objects to be used. It's objectification of the human body.
We should realise that the person on camera is a real person, and if we are going to be in any relationship, we need to treat the person as a real person and not as an object to be used. That's a very hard thing once you put your head into this world of pornography.
Physical Action vs Mental Thought
Secondly, Sikhi doesn't say that physical action is the only important thing. Having sex outside of marriage breaks your Rehit (code of conduct). But the mere thought of lusting over somebody else is bad as well. Sikhi involves controlling thoughts, speech and actions. It is not just about physical actions but about mental actions as well. Everything that we do should be towards building positivity and not negativity, and this action is definitely negative. Women are not objects to be used for pleasure. They're real people. When we go down this route, we aren't going to understand that fact. It's going to be harder for us to relate to that person's reality. If you think long-term, then that one moment of pleasure can give you guilt for days and distort your mental ability and vision.
ਨਿਮਖ ਕਾਮ ਸੁਆਦ ਕਾਰਣਿ ਕੋਟਿ ਦਿਨਸ ਦੁਖੁ ਪਾਵਹਿ ॥
For a moment of sexual pleasure, you shall suffer in pain for millions of days.
Superman and Kryptonite
You reprogram your brain through a lot of hard work. You need to take yourself out of that environment because what you are doing is similar to kryptonite in superman’s body. Superman cannot fly if he has any amount of kryptonite, which is not good for him. Guru Gobind Singh Ji gets told by Guru Tegh Bahadur Ji, "Don't even in your dreams, go near the bed of another woman."
ਨਿਜ ਨਾਰੀ ਕੇ ਸਾਥ ਨੇਹੁ ਤੁਮ ਨਿਤ ਬਢੈਯਹੁ ॥
"You promise to enhance love with your own wife."
ਪਰ ਨਾਰੀ ਕੀ ਸੇਜ ਭੂਲਿ ਸੁਪਨੇ ਹੂੰ ਨ ਜੈਯਹੁ ॥੫੧॥
“But never, even by mistake, or in your dream, bed with else’s wife.(51)”
So, should a Sikh’s dreams involve being lustful with other people? Not at all. On the other hand, it might not even be in your actual dreams. The person might be awake daydreaming about this. That is how fundamentally flawed this can get. Guru Ji instructs us to look at other women as our sisters or daughters.
ਦੇਖਿ ਪਰਾਈਆ ਚੰਗੀਆ ਮਾਵਾਂ ਭੈਣਾਂ ਧੀਆਂ ਜਾਣੈ।
The Sikh ought to treat women of others as his mothers, sisters, and daughters.
Hence, any amount of porn is not good. It's going to mess up your relationships and program your brain in a way that you would think of the other person as an object.
Think of it as kryptonite and avoid it. Use Gurbani (Guru’s words) as medicine to help you and do Ardas (humble request) to Guru Sahib to save you. In that moment of lust or anger, try to use Bani. It's hard, but Sikhi is meant to be hard. Guru Amardas Ji says that it is like walking on a thin piece of hair.
ਖੰਨਿਅਹੁ ਤਿਖੀ ਵਾਲਹੁ ਨਿਕੀ ਏਤੁ ਮਾਰਗਿ ਜਾਣਾ ॥
The path they take is sharper than a two-edged sword and finer than a hair.
It's not easy. Most of us might fail, but the difference between a sinner and a saint is that a saint keeps on trying. Guru Sahib wants us to keep trying and then success is by his grace.