n today’s world, Kaam or lust is one of the most prominent issues that a lot of people face. We might think that we are free from lust but we never actually engage in a conversation about what is lust? How does it show up in the world and in our minds? How does it affect us? In this blog post we will discuss what Kaam is, different forms of Kaam and how not to be controlled by Kaam?
What is Kaam (Lust)?
Kaam is not merely a physical action that you do and get in trouble for doing it. Kaam is something that your mind absorbs in and develops over time.
The 8 forms of Kaam
1. Sarvan - Sarvan means listening. When we engage in such conversations, songs, TV shows, movies, social media, etc that discuss Kaam, it enters our mind through our sensory organs, ears and eyes. You are not engaging in such things to increase your awareness about the topic to move away from it but instead, you are indulging in it. You are constantly listening to someone’ body being praised. Such thoughts enter your mind through your ears and eyes. So, the first form that Kaam takes is through sound.
2. Chitvan - Chitvan means contemplating, constantly writing this inside of your mind. When we talk about dating, pornography, adult rated movies, etc, some say that I am only watching it, I am not doing it myself. But when you are constantly listening and seeing lustful actions, it gets deeply ingrained in your mind. You are training your mind in such a way that you will think of others as sexual objects. Instead, we should train our mind to move away from such thoughts. We should focus our contemplation on our Guru and listen to the Guru’s Shabad. Thus, the second form that Kaam takes is Chitvan.
3. Baat Ekaant - Baat Ekaant means time to speak to a person alone, you want to have a conversation with that specific person in private. Firstly, you have heard about that person. Secondly, you have written thoughts about that person in your mind. Now, you want to have a conversation with that person, regardless of whether they are the same gender or opposite gender as you are. You may converse with them through text messaging, social media or physically seeing them in person. You have the intention of not meeting them as a brother or sister. You might justify it to your mind that we are just friends. This is like taking butter near the fire knowing that it will blow up. You just take it to the fire because you think you can control it. Similarly, you have ingrained such thoughts in your mind and you have justified to your mind that you are not doing it for lustful reasons. But in the depth of your mind, you know that it is for such reasons whether it has taken the form of physical action or not. It's going to lead up to that sort of action because now you want to do Baat Ekaant. Thus, the third form Kaam takes is of Baat Ekaant.
4. Kal Karan - Kal Karan means attachment with that person. Now, you are developing an attachment with that person and you are becoming very fond of that person. You are having conversions which lead elsewhere. Not to say that you should not have conversations with people as brothers and sisters but think about it that in the depths of your minds and thoughts where are you leading these conversations to. So, the fourth form that Kaam takes is Kal Karan.
5. Parja Thampan - Parja Thampan means trying to associate with them anyway. For example, you go out of your way to be at an event where that person will be going. You are not there for the event but specifically for that person. You try to associate with groups or people who that person is associated with. So, associating with that person anyways is the fifth form of Kaam known as Parja Thampan.
6. Parapat - Parapat means to strategize on how to keep that person forever. You can do anything to attain that person and keep them to yourself. It will eventually take the form of attachment as well because both are interlinked. You will be willing to fight with others and sacrifice other things for this one person. Thus, the sixth form that Kaam takes is Parapat.
7. Simran - Simran means remembering them day and night. Normally, we use the term Simran for living in constant remembrance of God. But this is referring to misusing that constant remembrance, you cannot seem to live without the desire of that person day and night. No matter what you do, you will be wanting to talk to that person or texting that person. If that person is not replying back to you then you would be wondering why they have not responded back. You will be constantly living in that person's remembrance. So, this is the seventh form of Kaam known as Simran.
8. Keertan - Keertan means praising them day and night. Normally, we use the term Keertan to sing the praises of God. In fact, thinking about your spouse or your beloved is a great thing. But in this case, you will sing the praises of that person. When you are moving away from the remembrance of God and you're moving into the boundaries of your own mind meaning in the sexual thoughts. In this way, you are constantly wanting to praise or talk about that person whenever you are talking to someone.
Conclusion - Use these characteristics to remember God. Use the Sarvan to listen to Bani, think about Bani, speak about Gurbani (Guru’s teachings), and have a desire to meet our Guru. Meet Gursikhs and the Sangat with the right intentions. Have the desire to meet God and live in constant remembrance of God. Do not use these concepts for your own selfish desire and forgetting God. Gurbani says that if you make Kaam a goal of your life, then you're walking down the path towards Narak (hell). Let's set our direction straight and walk the path of love for Guru Sahib.
The article is a transcribed version of the video